


Salvation Smarmy

by Shatterpath



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, Swearing, bigots suck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 01:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5438384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shatterpath/pseuds/Shatterpath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a grinch tries to ruin a Skimmons Christmas outing, Jemma gets the best sort of revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salvation Smarmy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tristian Makhai (Ayrki)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayrki/gifts).



> Written in about an hour on 12-15-15 from a prompt by my wonderfully evil co-conspirator, ayrki. The inspiration (and a good chunk of the dialog) came from a wonderful post, http://appropriately-inappropriate.tumblr.com/post/104263141115/wirstdate-liefplus-if-u-werent-aware-of , I just set it to the tune of fanfic. Besides, I haven't had a chance to write for Skimmons and this seemed perfect.
> 
> Special thanks to appropriately-inapproriate on Tumblr for her marvelous story! You go girl.

It was a beautiful night, crisp and rainy with a kiss of possible snow on the light breeze. Giddy as children, Jemma and Daisy had snuck away from the rest of the team for some low-key together time while they could get it.

"It isn't that I don't adore the rest of them," Jemma was rambling on as they walked away from the car and towards the busy mall. "And I'm very glad we were able to find ourselves together and able to celebrate the holiday together, even if we're nearly a week early."

"Just means we get two Christmases," Daisy agreed easily, catching up Jemma's hand in quiet intimacy. They had taken a long time to become 'them' and the sweet novelty still delighted both. 

By unspoken agreement, they rerouted around the tech displays, knowing how they would both get caught up, and stuck to giggling over the clothing mannequins in the store windows and ogling the decorations everywhere. It wasn't often enough they had the time or calm to act the young women they still were, to be carefree for even a short time before the reality of their lives came crashing back down.

So the sudden wall of verbal menace took them bath by surprise.

"How dare you bring that filth in public place! Children could see that."

Instantly tense, Daisy fell back to training, taking a quick look around for dangers, her body tense. The livid soccer mom had suspended her obnoxious little bell ringing and was pointing at them, her face twisted with hate. 

"You're going to go to hell, acting like _that_!"

Neither moved for a moment as the realization that the ranting was aimed at them. From a stranger working for a popular charity. In a crowded public place. Wearing a Santa hat.

Now, both Jemma and Skye had seen more than their fair share of hellish things, and experienced worse. In sync, their gazes dropped to their intertwined hands before returning to their tormentor. Rage crept over the pleasant haze of the day.

"Is that shit-heel going aggro on us?" Daisy asks so very carefully and quietly, her body going still with menace before the shaking would start. And while Jemma agreed with her, this was neither the time nor place for rage. Instead, she channeled the anger at this nasty little woman into something laser-focused and so very, very cold. 

It was as though someone had dropped a ton of wet snow into the middle of the strange tableau, the ripples of icy menace coming from one small Brit. Daisy took a half step away the evil soccer mom tensed, her eyes rounding.

Anger would solve nothing, but something else would.

In a glorious display of a childhood trick that had always been handy, Jemma let her eyes fill up with tears and she _wailed_ like her whole world had just come crashing down around her ears.

Small, sweet-faced Jemma with her fluffy green elf cap and oversized Christmas jumper and faded jeans and an honest-to-Coulson panda backpack and looking as sweet and adorable as a cupcake, dissolved into a full-out bawling meltdown. It was heartrending and Daisy nearly jumped clean out of her skin with the shock.

"Oh fuck," she whispered, at a complete loss with what to do with this sudden emotional disaster dropped on her like a water balloon. Evil soccer mom had realized that she has miscalculated her random hate-filled pot shot as the crowd zeroed in on the drama like a pack of hungry wolves on a bunny. 

With great, rolling tears, Jemma practically bellowed in gloriously shrill distress, "Why would you b-b-be so _mean_? It's _Christmas_!"

Now the bell-ringer bitch looked like she was about ready to bolt, red bucket of demon coins be damned. Thankfully a better example of humanity toddled out of the crowd with a sweet, no nonsense face like Molly Weasley. "Oh, you poor thing. What's the matter, dear?"

Daisy watched in stupefied amazement as Jemma leaned into the stranger's comforting arm, eyes enormous and awash in tears, lower lip wet and wobbly.

"I was… she s-said… s-s-she said I was going to _hell_!"

With the curious crowd a human wall around the drama, the mall cops arrived at a stumble just in time to catch the action, Jemma once more bursting into a wail of agony fit to raise the dead. 

Quickly enough the Agents were coaxed away from the stressful situation by the nice Ellen-watching suburban housewife lady and given candy canes by the nice mall cops. Who then turned on the Evil Bell Ringer and removed her, spluttering ineffectually the entire way. Jemma clung to Daisy's arm and her candy cane as though they were her only anchor in a sea of misery as they wandered away and around a corner where it was quieter. 

Where her sniffles morphed into giggling and into a racket of hilarity that made Daisy stare in amazement. Mopping away the crocodile tears and grinning ear to ear in sheer, egotistical joy, Jemma was utterly pleased with herself

"That is the most Slytherin thing I have ever seen anyone do," Daisy marveled with real admiration and leaned in to kiss that smile. "You were amazing."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, my dear."

**Author's Note:**

> The IM highlights:  
> shatterpath [9:08 PM] ok, I was ready to growl over these bastards and now I'm laughing my ass off. And it HAS to be Jemma that does it. Pure gold  
> ayrki [9:09 PM] [grins] yeah, it’s my favourite holiday post going around.  
> shatterpath [9:10 PM] your you are the most awesomely evil person I know. And then doing crazy Debby's laugh outside. Addams Family Values. The hysterical sobbing morphing into evil laughter  
> ayrki [9:11 PM] [laughs] yes  
> shatterpath [9:11 PM] and the story is typical for bigoted bully assholes  
> ayrki [9:11 PM] it is, but I am so glad this 16 year old kid managed to get back at them in a small, but brilliant way  
> shatterpath [9:11 PM] fuck yes  
> angstninja [9:32 PM] My grandmother worked for them for thirty some years  
> shatterpath [9:34 PM] hey, I had NO idea about the fuckery until just the last 5ish years or so


End file.
